The best way to fail

Every year, people make a New Years resolution. I make one every year and usually only follow my pact for about a week. With that time of year sneaking up on us again I am reminded of the…

Failures:

*Not only did I not lose the weight I promised myself I was going to sweat off, in fact I gained probably at least 10 pounds.
*I still drink dark soda.
*I still have the OCCASIONAL ciggy when there are more adult beverages in that soda..shh don’t tell mom.
*That road trip with the best friend was put off for another year.
*Another summer was not spent with Sundays at the best river spot I have found.
*I made less, a lot less, money than I did last year.

However the failure I am most proud of comes from a promise I had made with my best friend. See, she is very much a realist while I am a optimist. I like seeing the good in people (even if there might not be any). We told ourselves that I was going to keep my feet on the ground this year and she was going to fly in the clouds. Which comes back to our title, this truly is the best way to fail at a resolution. Somewhere around February I had the realization that I enjoy having my head in the clouds about some things. I am an optimist because I want to believe that things can be better. I wasn’t always the most happy person and so the clouds were my escape from my own self. I can’t be a realist, that may work for her but I need to believe on my bad days that tomorrow will be a better one. This is how my mind works and this is what keeps my world going. I am not disappointed that I failed that time.

But in truth, money really isn’t everything. I might have made less money but I graduated with my Bachelors in Nursing. I enjoyed the food I ate and the not-working-out I did. I cut down on dark sodas, I have only had two ciggys. Ok ok, that road trip is probably never going to happen but I get lost easy so that might be a good thing. Sundays were not spent at the lake but they were spent with the man of my dreams.

All in all, I still consider this year a win because it was a great one. Not all my resolutions were busts, biggest win of all was that I found a guy that treats me right.. So, thank you New Years Baby for not giving me the will power for the rest of my resolutions so that this last one could come true. If that is what you do, i am unsure. But I will get my revenge for the weight thing!!

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You win some, you lose some

On the rare night I stay home and not at my boyfriend’s, I like to to spend the night dealing with my insomnia by curling up in bed, watching a movie on my computer (I have no tv in my room), and doing some crocheting. I know what you’re thinking and no I am not 80. I like keeping my hands busy and making things. Anyway, for almost 2 months now my computer power cord has been taking a turn for the worse. Some how the black piece that keeps exposed wires in their place broke off and little by little the problem has been getting worse. I can usually maneuver it around so it at least charges my poor, yet spiteful, computer. Then last night I come to find this…

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Well crap..

Normally I can gerry-rig my way out of these situations, I am some what of a 20-something, female Macgyver. Partly because I am good at doing those kinds of thing (being resourceful and all), but mostly because I’m not one for doing down with out a fight. And the spar was on… So a roll of tape and an hour later I go against my better judgement and decided to let the computer have THIS round, in the spirt of Christmas after all.

You may have won this battle, that doesn’t mean I’ve lost the war.

Merry Christmas everyone, hope y’all have a wonderful, enjoyable holiday.

Thank goodness the World didn’t end….

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It’s a good thing that the Mayans were wrong. According to them, or crazy calendar people, the world was supposed on December 21,2012. Why is this a good thing that this did not take place? Many reasons of course but my selfish reason being that I graduated the day before. Yes that’s right, on December 20, 2012 , I graduated from college! I got, my Bachelors of Science in Nursing.. I am a BSN now.. Yay me. I am the first in my immediate family to finish college so it was a good day. With most days dealing with my family, there were good parts and bad but I walked the stage with no tripping, got to spend time with my great family, best friends, and amazing boyfriend. As selfish as it sounds, I’m glad that I actually get to use these skills that I have been learning and tested on for 2 years. How much would that have sucked?!? Heres your degree that you’ve been killing yourself over, all of the sleepless nights studying, and the next day after you walk the stage, BAM. The end of the world? Who thought that through?
Keeping my fingers crossed that I get the job of my dreams as a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and be able to help the lives of the adorable premature infants. I’ve applied but need to do more. Gosh I hope I get a job on the unit!!! So, in addition to being able to live another day of my life, I get to grow up (as stressful as it is!!) and become a great nurse, and spend more time with the love of my life, friends, and my wonderful family.

Crazy mother of mine

My parents separated not too long ago. It was really hard for a while. It’s my parents, the two people that are supposed to be together forever. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. In all honestly, they had been fighting for a long time to only get worse in the past few months. I used my boyfriend’s house as a hide out for over a week then he made me girl up and go home to face my dad-less house. Some days are still hard but my parents new relationship is weird but more amicable than the past few years of their marriage. He still comes over to mow the lawn while my mom does his laundry. Like any child I just want my family to be together but the “adult” in me sees that this is an opportunity for her to finally be happy.

Back to one of the many reasons my mother is crazy..today anyway. A few days ago she was supposed to go on a date with some guy that she met on a dating site. After my meltdown about her dating someone else, she canceled. I felt horrible. Today she put out an ad on Craig’s List. Haha, I know it sounds crazy and creepy but she is having a great time. This is the most I’ve seen her smile and laugh since I was a little kid. She is having a good time emailing and flirting with some men that respond and yes there are some creepers out there.

I will probably never be a thousand percent comfortable with the separation or either of them dating again but today is the first day she has to cried and the first day I haven’t either. So maybe if things can stay friendly this will be better for everyone. I don’t want to jinx us but is it possible to have our cake and eat it too?

There are many reasons my mother is crazy, this one is today’s. but everyday I love her.